Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My ATM looks so different sober.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
