In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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