his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
