I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
