Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
