She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
did you just send me my own nude
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
