oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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