ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
