it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
