And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
even my farts smell like vagina
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
