turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
