dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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