loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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