I accidentally had phone sex last night
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
