Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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