I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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