Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
