I need help removing her.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
