You really coming over, don't trick.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
