Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
