if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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