Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
