I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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