This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
