Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
