your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
