So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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