It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
