i would punch a child for taco bell
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
