He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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