Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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