Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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