I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
