Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
