was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
