We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please come you make the beer taste better
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
