Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
