i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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