i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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