Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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