***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
