I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
time to smoke my breakfast
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
