I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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