Plan B is the new Plan A
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
