But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
