I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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