She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
