I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
