You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
