i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
