why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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