Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
