i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
