Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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